HOLY MASSTICATION

A priest is asking parishioners for some serious cop-on after two litres of chewing gum was removed from under pews at a church in Glanmire.

priest be with chew

Fr Shane Nash described the chewing gum as a “health and hygiene” issue and he asked his parishioners to be more considerate to both the church and their fellow mass goers.

“I have nothing against people chewing gum in church, I like a good chew as much as the next person, but if people could keep the gum in their mouth until after exiting the church, it would be greatly appreciated”.

Over the course of two days, the underside of the pews at the Church of the Blessed Lord Our God Above in Glanmire yielded a half a bucket full of chewing gum.

“This is the first deep clean, I mean really deep clean that we have had in the last number of years,” confessed Fr Nash. In all, Fr Nash throughout the cleaning amassed “two litres of gum in a bucket”.

He noted chewing gum is a problem in every town in Ireland but pointed out the sacred nature of the church. “Chewing gum is a reality of life, Our Lord perhaps would have had a chew himself if circumstances were different. we just ask people to be conscious of other people who have to sit there as well,” he remarked. “It is a little disrespectful to other people if the chewing gets too loud though, if it’s distracting from my sermon, then that’s not on” Fr Nash remarked.

Rather than disposing of the rancid gum bucket, Fr Nash has decided to auction it off at the next Church raffle, in the hope of raising “a few bob” for the church fund. However, Fr Nash also acknowledged that this would be a hard sell, even for the most polite-minded of his parishioners.