RICKY MARTIN IN BID FOR X-MAS NUMBER 1

Latin singing sensation and man who isn’t far off 50, Ricky Martin (48), is making a surprise bid for Christmas Number 1 this year with the release of his unanticipated track; Livin’ La Vida Lockdown.

The song is a rehash of his 1999 hit single Livin’ La Vida Loca, but cleverly changes some of the words, including; “Loca” to “Lockdown” and others, to cash in on what a shitbag of a year 2020 has been with its various Coronavirus related national and local lockdowns. 

It appears Mr. Martin will be keeping a particularly keen eye on the Irish charts where his original song was at Number 1 for some 12 years, taking the place of Gangsta’s Paradise, by Coolio, and eventually being replaced by LMFAO’s Sexy And I Know It.

Ricky Martin (48)

The original song was an emotionally unclear tribute to a nefarious woman who Mr. Martin imagines will make anyone who gets near her lose their sanity and attempt to recreate the famous dancing scene from Singing In The Rain. Nude. It has been posited that the woman uses some sort of illegal hallucinogenic to achieve her aims.

Gardaí have once again been told to be on the lookout for a woman whose skin “is the colour mocha” (pronounced “mocha”), has lips that are naturally “devil red” and who has been known to “slip” her victims a “sleeping pill” after she’s had her way with them.

You can report any potential sightings of this woman to Gardaí by calling 112.

Ricky Martin’s birthday is on the 24th of December as it happens so if he does get the Christmas Number 1 it’ll also be a nice birthday present for him. We wish him all the best.