IRISHMAN FALLS ASLEEP DURING FIRST SUPER BOWL

Michael O’Flaherty (32) was “All set” to watch his first ever Super Bowl on Sunday night, but then, disaster struck, as Michael called to tell us from his home in Riverstown;

“Ah c’mere, that was ridiculous. It didn’t even start till like half 11. I’d my big sandwich (it was grand actually. I might ask Sarah to make me another one another day), all the nacho crisps and half the slab of Coors Light gone by like half 9. Why do they put it on so late? Don’t they’ve any jobs to be going to in the morning? I don’t, but some people might.”

Michael O’Flaherty (32) - “that was ridiculous.”

Having done a bit of research in the hours before the coin toss, Michael had decided he was going to be “routing” for the the Tampa Bay Buccaneers because “sure there was a Tom Brady in my Junior Cert woodwork class” and, crucially, “I don’t know where Kansas is. Is it in New York?”.

He’d then set about placing a few bets on the game only to be “utterly bolloxed” by the terminology on his betting app, in the end placing just two bets; Tampa Bay Buccaneers to win and Tom Brady to score a field goal.

“The odds on the win weren’t great to be fair, but they were massive on that ‘field goal’ one. And it was weird because I kept seeing Tom Brady’s name pop up so I thought he must be good. Maybe he just doesn’t score very often or something?”

But most frustrating for Michael (32), was the game itself;

“Ah it was the pits, honestly. Look, fair enough if you want to have quarters instead of just two halves. That’s fine. But the game started (fucking eventually) and within about two minutes it was back to the lads in the studio to have another chat. What’s that all about? I was thinking, grand, it’s starting a but fuckin’ late, but hopefully it’ll be done by like half 12 or something, but I swear all those breaks were just taking the piss. It just went on and on.”

Soon, Michael found himself struggling to stay awake and before long he’d fallen asleep only to wake up all hunched over on the couch with what he believed to be a sort of post game concert or “closing ceremony” taking place on the pitch, only to be startled when the players came back out after it.

“There must’ve been 150 people, in normal shoes, dancing on the pitch and then the lads are supposed to come back out and play on it again?! Imagine that down the pike? People’d be snapping ankles and all sorts.”

Ultimately it was this that sealed its fate for Michael and with a simple; “Fuck this” he went off to bed.

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers won the game by a higher score than the Kansas City Chiefs and Michael made €2.50 on his bet. He says he’s looking forward to next year’s Super Bowl.